By: Halie Holland

The massive college admissions scam, thought to be the biggest ever in United States history, is a pronounced reminder that the wealthy can cheat their way into top schools while you are trying to cheat your way into ECU. You know what they say—if you’re not cheating, you’re not trying.

If mommy and daddy aren’t paying top dollar to get you into college then consider yourself an unloved, uncared for child. If more than 50 parents are doing it, it should be okay…right? Just ask Lori Loughlin, who spent $500,000 to get her two daughters, Olivia Jade and Bella, into USC.

Loughlin and her fashion designer husband paid bribes to have their little princesses designated as recruits to the University of Southern California’s crew team. Don’t worry, neither of Loughlin’s daughters ever had to compete in crew. Instead, their rockstar parents sent fake photos of each of them on a rowing machine to increase their admission.

Can you adopt me, Aunt Becky? No? How Rude.

Will Loughlin, her husband, Felicity Huffman, and other cheaters go to jail? Maybe. However, they love their kids so much that they would sacrifice their elite professions in the world of acting to give their poor babies a quality education. That is truly remarkable.

Should these kids be kicked out of these elite schools? It would be so devastating if they did. These kids worked so diligently to earn their spots in college. What are they going to do? Go to community or online college with the poor? GROSS. Unfortunately, mommy and daddy can’t help them from behind bars.