Chinese Space Junk Hits Mount Rushmore

By:  Nick Swafford

I’m not sure if you’ve heard, but there was a 9 ton piece of metal that fell from the atmosphere without any directional control or landing plan. Essentially, it was a crash landing. That 9.4 ton piece of metal is the old Chinese Space Station, that for the past week or so has been slowly getting closer to Earth in its orbit and it just recently slipped into a crash course to Earth. So where did it crash? Right in the face of Abraham Lincoln, George Washington, Theodore Roosevelt, and Thomas Jefferson. Yup, you heard right, the Chinese Space Station defaced Mount Rushmore in North Dakota.

So, lets get some backstory to this. The station was China’s first human space station, Tiangong 1, which was launched in 2011. It was used for lab experiments and testing things such as docking and orbital rendezvous. However, it had successfully run its course and was sent back down to Earth, which brings us to now.

The damages caused by the crash might be too severe to save the monument, but that won’t stop us from trying. I imagine it will take hundreds of millions of dollars if not in the billions to fix the effects of this catastrophe, not to mention the economic losses the state will lose due to the loss of tourism.

As I speak, tons of money is being raised to support the relief effort for the affected area. There’s no telling how long it will take for things to go back to normal, but with your help, we can help with the effort

Now, forgive me if I’m wrong but this whole situation seems a bit weird. What are the odds of a Chinese spacecraft crashing directly into four of America’s most historic presidents? Too slim I say. China and America aren’t on the best grounds with each other, as they are on the brink of a trade war, so would it be so hard to imagine this was a plan set by China’s government to pick out a purely American spot for their station to crash. However, all this is just speculation, but I’ll keep you updated if I find anything.



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