How to Become famous in Five Easy Steps

By: Cami Swafford

With the Oscars coming to a close on Sunday, February 26, most of us imagined an alternate life in which we were among those celebrities–wildly famous, in a gorgeous dress or tux, and maybe even holding a shiny gold Oscar.

Do you want to make this imaginary life a reality? Do you have no talent? Do you wish to be mad rich and among the stars? If any of the above apply to you, then tune in, because I have unlocked the key to becoming famous in only five easy steps!

  1. To start off, you must decide what field of the entertainment industry you wish to join. Do you want to be a director, actor, or singer? Or a dancer, comedian, or talk show host? Don’t worry if you have no talent or a single clue on how to be any of the above, just pick one. (After all, most celebrities don’t have any!)
  2. Once you pick the profession you wish to pursue, you must delete all social media accounts you have. This may seem like the exact opposite of something a celebrity would do, but it’s actually the ticket to big success in Hollywood. Everyone does it when they’re starting out. This creates the illusion of mystique that will guarantee your success.
  3. After wiping yourself from social media, you can begin the process of building your new image. Even if you don’t have talent, it is still possible for you to pave your way to fame with mediocrity. It’s all about who you know in Hollywood. Reach out and get into contact with prominent people who can mentor you on your journey.
  4. Now that you have mentors that are actually talented, you can impress them with your mediocrity. Show them your true colors. This will make them feel unthreatened, leading them to endorse you beyond belief. Soon you will find yourself among the stars.
  5. The last step in becoming famous is: stop reading fake news like this and actually improve your talents and work hard towards a goal.